I think OP has had a lack of acceptance in his life, and this relationship feels like a once-in-a-lifetime chance to him. He's not able to envision a happy, stable relationship, much less truly believe that he is worthy and deserving of one..
When he was presented with your crush, he didn't just brush it off and move on, he sent it up through proper HR channels, and managed to pull it off in a way that didn't appear to hurt Spookie's career prospects within the company either..
To be honest I just feel like I was kinda played. Particularly during a vulnerable part of my life where I actually DID let my guard down and try to let the process unfold. The same girl who held my hand, expressed a desire to build something real (and lasting), then tossed out the idea of cheating. Like I'm her little plaything and not a thinking and feeling adult. How do you reconcile those contradictions, consider that acceptable dialogue in a relationship?.
i am a handsome boy i m in search of a beautiful prince..